Lady looking nsa TN Bloomingdale 37660 Is Bourgeois Marriage Dead?
Is Bourgeois Marriage Dead?
By: Judith Shulevitz )( This is not Judith Shulevitz )( Just sharing what I agree with.
Is Who Wants To Marry a Multimillionaire? evidence of a general nostalgia
for the s. Compared with the mindset that made Who Wants To
Marry a Multimillionaire? possible, America's much-maligned mid-century
decade looks like a bastion of feminist values.
Consider the charge made at the time: that women were enslaved in a cult
of bourgeois domesticity that turned them into pill-popping, Stepfordized
wives. There was an element of truth to that generalization, even if it
was reductive and condescending, but once the argument had done its job
and helped women make the case for modern feminism, it hardened into a
historical dogma that happened to be incorrect. The celebration of hearth
and home was not a bourgeois plot to counter the excesses of a previous
generation's revolutionary thought and lure women back into the house. It
was the enduring expression of what had earlier been a very good idea.
The ideology of bourgeois marriage was first advanced by people with a
powerful pro-female agenda, which was to humanize a dehumanizing
relationship. "The nineteenth-century cult of domesticity, so ed,
originated in a systematic attack on patriarchal authority, led by an
international elite of doctors, philanthropists, and humanitarians,"
Christopher Lasch wrote in Women and the Common Life: Love, Marriage, and
Feminism. These reformers, most of them devout Christians, were incensed
at the ousness of the aristocracy, which taught its daughters little
more than fashion, flirtation, and the art of making socially
advantageous marriages. It's hard to grasp how counterintuitive it once
was to be in favor of the kind of monogamous, child-centered,
middle-class marriage we take for granted today. Mary Wollstonecraft, the
founding mother of feminism, was being quite radical when she argued
against turning women into frilly twits on the grounds that it hurt the
institution of marriage: Women, she said, were being conditioned to be
"alluring mistresses rather than affectionate wives and rational
mothers."
By the end of the century, the view of marriage as a social and economic
and sexual transaction--in which the man gets children and possibly
property and the woman is granted social status--had been replaced by the
ideal of the companionate marriage as a friendly, loving joint
partnership. It was a relatively romantic notion, all things considered,
even when you factor in the troubling fact of sexual inequality. Or so it
seems when you compare it to the versions of marriage paraded single women wants nsa Spokane before us
not just on television but in the big debates of the moment.
Culturebox isn't too worried about the game shows and the nightly news
reports about the thriving Russian mail-order bride business--they seem
more like part of the passing circus than anything to get too worked up
about. What's upsetting is the larger view of love and marriage these
images reflect. Science, which probably has more impact on how we think
about relationships than anything else, now portrays romance as a
delusional expression of a Darwinian struggle to reproduce.
Communitarianism, whose critique of marriage was taken up by the first
lady, argues that its social benefits are so great that we should force
people to stay married by putting limits on divorce, which was once
viewed as the necessary precondition of companionate marriage. (As
literary historian Stephen Greenblatt wrote recently in the New Republic:
"It is no accident that Milton wrote the great tracts on the legitimacy
of divorce: the dream of emotional fulfillment in marriage depends
heavily upon the possibility of divorce."). Each of these analyses--and
the many others like them--have their own particular truth, but put them
all together and you have a vision of the marital condition that has
about as much to do with affection and intimacy as the kiss between Darva
Congers and Rick Rockwell.
If you would like to get to know me or just email/IM and talk about the subject of modern marriages and/or life in general, just send me an email message.
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